Seriousness, That's The Word-- Right?

Okay you guys
I'm being serious here
And I had to edit my author email cause I never went on the other one
So I changed it
This weekend I watched a movie called @Suicide Room. Now if you haven’t seen this movie then you need to, and if you have see this movie you’re going to understand what I’m saying here. @Suicide Room follows Dominik, a Polish teenager who’s gay. Now there it stuck a chord with me, along with the fact that he got bullied for it. So here I can already relate to this kid, I know what he’s going through and it makes sense.
Then he meets Sylvia, a girl who hosts an online chat room/virtual world called “The Suicide Room” where she and a few other people watch videos of people killing themselves. Sylvia wants to kill herself and she manipulates Dominik into thinking he wants to kill himself as well. Now here it strikes another chord with me. I’ve attempted suicide several times, and if there had been a trigger warning (Which there should’ve) on the cover art for this movie I wouldn’t have watched it.
I hate to sound so lame here but I’ve poured bleach into a cup, I’ve taken a handful of pills. And yet I stopped myself just like Dominik tries to stop Sylvia. Now in the end *Spoiler Alert* Dominik still kills himself. But he was pushed to the edge, just like so many people have. I’ve been pushed to the edge and I have the scars to prove it.
So now, halfway through the film it did bring back some really bad memories for me. Things I really did want to forget. But I now know that I will not ever forget them because I etched them into my skin with a razor. For those who cried during this movie, I need to say that you cried because you haven’t gone through that. For people like me who didn’t cry it was because we related so deeply that it was like we were just reliving what happened to us. So no, I wasn’t being heartless when I didn’t cry. I was remembering what I had gone through.
This movie really makes you think about what you’re doing and what you should be doing. Even if things do get tough it doesn’t mean that you have to do anything. Sylvia told Dominik that he didn’t have to do a thing. Whatever he wanted to do he could do and if he didn’t want to do something he doesn’t have to do it. And yes, Dominik overreacted somewhat but we all do when we’re in that situation.
It was a very realistic movie that got five stars from me. If you have hurt yourself or if you currently do I would say to not watch this movie unless you have self control. Because even now, four months after I’ve stopped I’m still thinking about it because my mind is making me relive what I went through. If you haven’t hurt yourself then watch it, if I could I would have my entire school watch it because it’s such a strong movie.
If you ever need to talk to me or if you want to ask me questions about what you or what I went through feel free to email me at kat.beast.frost@gmail.com because you’re worth so much more than hurting yourself. If you don’t want to talk to me about it but you still need help and you’re apart of the LGBT community then call this number: 866-488-7386. There’s always going to be someone standing by waiting for your call. If you’re not apart of the gay community then call 1800-273-8255. Again someone will always be there waiting for your call.
If it’s any help I used to keep those numbers in my speed dial because it was that bad, no matter what remember that you are important and that you mean something. I will always be here to help you and I will always be here to talk with you. Forever remember that I love you. <3
If you’re a parent who is denying that their child has mental health problems, or that their child tried to commit suicide, stop.
Suicide is serious and if your child attempted it, they’re serious. Because when my mom denied it saying “No, you’re not.” it made it worse. I felt like I was even more wrong than I already was.
If you’re a sibling to someone going through this just let them go through it. Just let them have attention. It’s a horrible thing to go through and you don’t want it to get worse for them.
Even to this day I still have these problems, and if you do too, you’re not alone. Remember that I will always be here for you, even if you live in Texas and I live up here in Wisconsin. I’ll always be here for you. I love you. <3

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