My skin burned-- nerves cried out for mercy in the darkness. Little dots of blood started to form-- just like the sweat that was building up from nervousness. It was sickening to feel a needle pull thread through my skin. At that moment I wished that my eyes would adjust to the darkness, yet my irritating Nyctalopia was getting in the way.
“Please,” I tried to cry-- hoping that this could end. But it couldn’t end. Suddenly it got very quiet, a small SNIP! and I knew the deed had been done. My mouth was shut-- a light bright burned my eyes, something that’s actually very unpleasant. But it reveled that I had something blocking my vision.
“Hello ladies and gentlemen!” A voice boomed out. “Thank you for coming tonight, and thank you for waiting. Turns out our first little prize here wasn’t completely ready! Anyway, here’s what you’ve been waiting for; a porcelain skinned, ebony haired beauty!”
Prices were thrown around, and I thought I was worth a whole lot more than they were saying. But the prices rose quickly. Finally they stopped, I didn’t know who won exactly.
“Congratulations sir!” A ‘Fun’ little laugh was let out.
Quickly I was picked up-- my heart beat a little faster as the lights faded. Where am I going? I was wearing something heavy, which made it difficult to actually lift me. My mouth still stung, and when I was taken outside it hurt even more. I could feel the cold wind of London bite into my new wounds.
“Here you go sir.” A gruff voice said.
“Thank you,” Another person was there, waiting.
I could hear a quiet exchange of money before I was ushered into a carriage. Carefully someone took whatever was blocking my vision off.
“Hello Miss,” A girl, who had to be at least three years older than me said.
She waited for a response, although I’m not really sure what she was expecting. Like there was any possibility that I could say anything to her. Awkwardly I waved, unable to actually wave since my wrists were tied together.
“Oh, I’m sorry Miss.” She unwrapped my wrists which had imprints from the tightly bound rope.
Although she was sweet, she definitely wasn’t the brightest color of the rainbow. For some reason she still waited for a response. I looked at her, hoping that my “You should say something now.” face was getting across.
“I must apologize for Master Crawley’s haste, see, he’s gotten himself in a bit of trouble. He’s hoping that you’re his saving grace...” She folded the cloth carefully
“Hm?” I mumbled, unsure of what she was talking about.
“Master Crawley bought you to be his wife, his previous wife died of a fever. There’s some other unimportant detail. Either way you’re now Master Crawley’s wife which means you have two kids who for you are going to be adopted. How old are you anyway, sixteen?” She threw the information at me like I should’ve been expecting it.
I nodded, I was sixteen.
“Oh.. Young Master Echo probably won’t like this...” She sighed. “Young Master Echo is Master Crawley’s son who’s been very upset by his mother’s death, he’s seventeen-- he has a grudge against Master Crawley for some reason... I’m not really sure why but he does.. He’s also very, very protective of his poor little sister, Young Mistress Tia.” This was too much information. Way too much information.
How was I going to suddenly become a parent?
“Master Crawley plans on meeting you when you get home,” She stated, looking me over.
The look I was giving her must have been questioning because she explained what she was doing.
“Master Crawley wants you to look elite... I’m afraid we don’t have enough time for that though...” She shook her head.
That was a harsh hit. Even if I couldn’t say it, I felt offended.
“We’ll just have to do with this,” She rummaged around in a bag, eventually pulling out a blood colored, satin dress.
It was only then that I realized I had been thrown into a violet, tulle filled ballgown. Obviously to give me the illusion of eye candy.
“I know this isn’t the ideal place to change but it’s all we have right now..” She shrugged, starting to pull the dress off me.
OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. If I had ever felt violated then it was right now as a woman I just met was going to help me change. Quickly I crossed my arms, hoping it would make her stop.
“Miss, it’s going to be difficult if you keep this up,” She sighed.
I shook my head-- I could get dressed by myself.
“Really, Miss?” She sighed. “Fine..”
She carefully placed the dress in my hands and continued rummaging through this bag. Awkwardly I pulled the tulle dress off and put the red dress on.
“There you go, Miss.” She smiled, which seemed wrong at the moment.
Her smile was quite strange. Only a little-- but enough that she noticed-- I had recoiled.
“What’s wrong, Miss?” She asked as she tilted her head a little.
“Nhm..” I mumbled-- hoping she’d get what I meant.
“Alright, Miss.. We’ll be there soon.” She shifted in her seat, glancing out the window.
Now I’m not exactly sure what I had been expecting. Maybe just a town house or something similar, after all it was summer. But one of the largest manors that I had ever seen was our destination.
“Are you ready, Miss?” She asked like I had some sort of decision in the matter.My look must’ve been an answer enough.
“I know it seems a little frightening at first but you’ll adapt to the Crawley Manor soon enough,” She smiled in a what was trying to be a comforting smile.
The carriage came to a stop-- proving that the manor had a dark appeal. Even with the numerous windows it still looked closed and uninviting.
“Come along, Miss,” She touched my shoulder carefully.
I shot her a look of what I hoped came across as pity worthy.
“You’ll be fine,” She smiled, ushering me out of the carriage.
The mansion stood in front of us-- looking some what menacing by how tall it was.
“Master Crawley should be waiting inside for us,” She gave me a gentle nudge towards the dark manor.
“Mhn...” the exasperated-- yet scared-- tone of my sigh made it clear to her that I wasn’t that interested in going in.
“It’s not that bad,” She pulled a long silver key from her pocket as she walked up to the intimidating doors.
I then decided that it just wasn’t worth fighting, this would be my life now. Quietly, with my head down I made my way to the disturbing place that I’d be calling home from now on. Once inside I realized just how spine chilling and vast the manor was.
“He should be waiting in his study,” She lead me up a set of stairs.
My head kept turning, there was so much to look at. But I didn’t want to seem eager to know this place, since I didn’t feel to eager to know this place.
“Master Crawley?” She knocked on one of the first doors in the hall.
“Come in.” A rough voice said.
“Master Crawley, here’s your wife,” She opened the door and took me into his study.
“Finally..” He stood up and looked me over. “Get over here,” He waved me toward him.
With my head down I walked over to him.
“Chin up,” He tapped my chin. “You can’t say a word. Got that?”
Even if I could say something I wouldn’t know what to say. I nodded curtly.
“Good. I’m sure Cora told you about Echo and Tia. Ignore Echo, he’s just a little upset by his mother’s death.” He adjusted how the dress fitted as he said this.
This added to the list of things that I had to keep track of.
“I’m Charles Crawley. Cora, you can have it meet Echo and Tia.” He sat back down at his desk, looking as if nothing new had happened.
“Alright Master Crawley,” Cora waved me out of his study. “See? That wasn’t so bad,” She smiled once we were out of his study.
“Nm..” I shrugged-- I hadn’t exactly been scared to meet him. Mostly just unsure of what to do.
“Let’s go, Miss. Master Crawley’s children should be this way,” She lead me back downstairs.
“Echo!” A little girl giggled.
“Young Mistress?” Cora asked.
“Yes?” The little girl peeked her head around the corner so she could see us.
“Your father wants you to meet your new mother,” Cora’s tone was soft.
“New mother...?” She stepped out, an air of confusion had crossed her.
“You know how... You know how your mommy died?” Cora knelt down so she was close to Tia’s height.
“Yes...” Tia looked at her hands, uncomfortable with the question.
“Well, your daddy found you a new mommy,” She pulled Tia’s chin up.
“Tia?” A boy with black hair came from around the corner.
“Young Master, this is your new mother.” Cora quickly stood up.
Disgust crossed Echo’s face and I couldn’t help but feel rejected.
“What’s wrong with her?” His tone had pure hatred in it.
“Nothing,” Cora fixed Tia’s hair.
“There’s something wrong with this... This witch...” He crossed his arms, being blunt.
“She’s not a witch. Be open minded,” She sighed.
“She’s trying to replace my mother. She’s even younger than me!” He was tough with his words.
“Please try to be nice, Young Master.” Cora sighed.
“Hi,” Tia came up to me.
“Hm,” I smiled, hoping she’d be warmer than her brother.
“I’m Tia, I guess you’re my new mommy..” She said as if she were thinking it all through.
“Hmn,” I mumbled, not completely sure what to say-- well, mumble.
“You’re pretty, pretty like a princess... I’m going to call you princess now,” She had an innocent child like grin.
A blush crept along my cheeks.
“Tia, don’t get so close to her.” Echo came over and pulled her away from me.
“Please excuse his behavior, Miss...” Cora shook her head.
“Hmn.” I waved my hand, not wanting to force myself into their lives.
“I’m sure you’re tired, Miss.. Let me show you to your room,” Cora walked me to another room. “I’ll show you around the manor tomorrow, alright? There are clothes in the dresser, goodnight Miss,” Cora closed the door. The room was cold and ominous, is this really my life now? Out of curiosity I looked around the room, drawers, closets, shelves. Finally I ran across a blank diary, and although I was tired, I also wanted to write.
September 30th, 1888
Dear Diary,
Today is the first day of my new life as a mother and wife. A man named Charles Crawley bought me at a black market auction right after my mouth had been closed with a thread and needle. Echo doesn’t like me-- but I understand where he’s making his decision. On the other hand, Tia, his little sister seems to be okay with me... We’ll just have to wait and see.
Yours truly,
Nina White
I closed the diary and fell into a restless night.
A loud barking woke me up. Images from the dream I had been having flashed across my eyes. No... It was just a silly dream... Quietly I opened the door, still unsure where the barking was actually coming from.
“Lucy!” Tia yelled.
A few more barks for a response and I realized that it was just something they had forgotten to mention. I slipped out the door, not wanting to be noticed.
“Come here, Lucy..” Echo begged, he was at the end of the hallway on his knees.
“Please Lucy...” Tia crawled out from behind her brother.
At the end of the hallway a white Scottish Terrier stood, barking none the less. It was cute to see Echo and Tia working as a team, though I’m not sure why it’s bad for the dog to be barking.
“Shut that infernal thing up!” Mr. Crawley’s door slammed open.
Everything went quiet. Now I realized why it’s a bad thing..
“The hag’s up..” He slammed his door shut, ignoring what had made him mad in the first place.
Hag? Did he really call me a ‘Hag’? No... Maybe that’s what he calls Lucy... Or-- or Tia... But those chances aren’t as likely as it is for him to call me a hag...
“The witch is up..” Echo wrinkled his nose in disgust.
“Hi...” Tia waved at me.
“Hmm,” I waved back, hoping my smile came across as nice and not creepy. Ow! My mouth stung as I tried to smile, which inevitably made me slap my hand over my mouth.
“Are you okay?” Tia got up and walked over to me.
“Tia, no.” Echo grabbed his sister around the waist and pulled her onto his lap. “What did I tell you last night? Stay away from her. That’s not your mum. Now go play with Lucy.”
Echo gently pushed her away and got up. My face was proof enough that I felt offended.
“I can tell her what I want,” He shrugged.
If I could’ve said anything, it would’ve been this: “I’m sorry that your mother died, but that doesn’t make me a witch. Truthfully I don’t want to be here. We can make this less unpleasant by being nice, okay?” But that wasn’t an option. All I could do was sigh in an “I’m sorry,” way.
“Save your pity act for someone else.” He rolled his eyes and walked away.
Well then... I went back to the room I was staying in. Several dresses had been put in the wardrobe, and finally I settled on an indigo and silver one. Quickly I pulled it on, hoping to get a look around the manor before I had to face Mr. Crawley again. Someone gently knocked on the door.
“Hm?” I opened the door, unsure of who’d want to talk to me.
“Hi,” Tia smiled up at me.
Awkwardly I waved not knowing what she was waiting for.
“I know Echo doesn’t like you, but I like you,” She smiled.
Did she really decided that after we met twice? I gave her a small smile.
“You and daddy get to go to a lovely party tonight!” Tia had this far away look in her eyes, like it was her dream to go to a party.
Really? After he seems so uninterested in me, he decides to drag me along to some social event?
“Parties seem so magical,” She sighed this happy little sigh.
She was so cute with her little girl dreams and all. I kneeled down next to her, smiling.
“Daddy’s lucky he found you,” She wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly.
“Get off my little sister, freak.” Echo tugged Tia away from me.
“But Echo--” She started.
“No. I told you not to go near her. I told you that she will never be like mum. You do not go by her, alright?” He was holding her tightly.
“But Echo--” She tried again.
“Alright?” He asked again.
“Okay..” She sighed, giving up. “Bye, Princess..”
Tia pulled herself out of her brother’s grip and walked away.
“Stay away from my little sister, you witch.” Echo looked at me, being firm.
Slowly I nodded, not wanting to make his life worse.
“He bought you, didn’t he?” Echo sighed, disappointment in his voice.
Again I nodded, feeling somewhat ashamed of this situation.
“Hm. Well, welcome to the world of a man who likes to lie and cheat his way out of things.. And from the looks of it you’ll be his next big lie...” Echo turned around and left, ending the conversation.
“Miss?” Cora had come around sometime during Echo’s description of his father. “Master Crawley would like to see you.”
Quickly I stood up and nodded.
“This way,” She smiled, taking me back to his study. “Master Crawley?” She knocked on the door.
“Come in,” His voice rang out.
“There you go, Miss.” She opened the door and nudged me in.
“Finally...” Mr. Crawley stood up after Cora closed the door. “Tonight we will be attending a social gathering, I’m a very important man and this is a very important party. You will not say one word about anything. Do you understand?”
Was he serious? Was he really telling me not to talk? As if talking was an option.
“Do you understand?” He repeated.
Slowly I nodded, unsure of what he was actually looking for.
“Good.” He crossed his arms. “Cora will help you get ready later, until then just stay out of my way.”
Mr. Crawley sat down at his desk, quickly I stood up and left his study.
“Are you excited, Miss?” Cora asked, carefully laying out an ensemble I was going to be forced to wear.
I shrugged, this was a new thing to me and I wasn’t exactly sure.
“It’s okay to be a little shy at first. Try not to be a wallflower, urge Master Crawley to dance since he’s only really going to improve his social status... Well, either way, don’t make awkward conversation.” She thought aloud.
Why did they all assume I could say something? With my mouth like this it’s impossible to even say “No”.
“I’m sure it’ll be a fun night. Just keep your chin up and smile.” She sighed.
I nodded, hoping that it would be over soon-- that this would be over soon.
“Please put your arms up now, Miss.” She asked, carefully picking up a dress.
Reluctantly I did as I was asked, quickly Cora slipped the dress over my head.
“Alright Miss, please turn around,” She gently pushed my shoulders so I would turn.
Oddly enough the mirror in the room was just centered enough for me to see. As Cora laced up the back of the dress I saw that I was wearing a gorgeous black satin gown with little silver flowers. My eyes were wide with awe.
“It’s lovely isn’t it?” Cora smiled, pulling the ribbon into a bow.
“Princess!” Tia gasped, a smile spread across her face.
“Would you like to help me fix her hair?” Cora looked at Tia.
“Yes please!!” She skipped over to us.
“Now what should we put in her hair?” Cora asked as she pulled my hair up into a bun, letting my bangs frame my face.
“Hm... Oh!! I’ll be right back!” Tia giggled and ran out of the room.
Cora shrugged at me, unsure of what she was going to go get. Minutes later Tia returned with a small box.
“What’s in there, sweetie?” Cora asked.her.
“These!” Tia held up a butterfly hair clip.
“Those are very pretty! Thank you, dear!” Cora smiled.
“They’d be lovely in her hair, don’t you think?” Tia handed Cora the clips, admiring each one before giving them to her.
“They’re very lovely in her hair.” Cora laughed lightly, carefully placing them in my hair.
“Are you excited?” Tia asked me, eyes big.
I shrugged, I didn’t really get why this party was such a big deal.
“Well, Master Crawley is probably waiting for you,” Cora smiled, fixing my bangs.
“Let’s go!!” Tia took my hand and skipped out of the room, pulling me with her.
“Tia!” Echo snapped.
“What?” She looked around, when she saw her brother, all of the color drained from her face.
“I told you not to!” Echo snatched her away from me and pulled her in the other direction.
“Well.... That’s Young Master Echo for you...” Cora sighed, ushering me to Mr. Crawley. “He should be--”
“Finally, you’re here.” Mr. Crawley scoffed.
“I’m sorry Master.” Cora looked at the ground.
“Don’t let it happen again.” He snapped.
Quickly he grabbed my wrist and pulled me out the door. As we traveled to the party there was an awkward silence.
“Just stay out of the way,” Mr. Crawley said as we got out of the carriage.
I kept my head down and nodded.
“Good.” He walked ahead of me, acting like I wasn’t there.
Now I hadn’t attended a party prior to this, at least, I can’t remember attending one prior to this.
“Ah, Mr. Crawley!” Someone from inside said.
Instantly Mr. Crawley ran back to me, wrapped his arm around my waist, and lead me in.
“Hello, Dean! How have you been?” Mr. Crawley asked a man as we walked through the door.
“Well, and you?” The man I presumed to be ‘Dean’ asked.
“I’ve been great, Dear, this is Dean Webb.” Mr. Crawley told me, as if he had been calling me ‘Dear’ ever since we met.
“Who’s this? Catherine was appalled to hear of Violetta’s sudden death, I was sure you would be attending this alone, or with Echo.” Mr. Webb informed.
“Ah, well, Violetta’s death did bring grief to my household, but I couldn’t have Tia living without a mother. Cora is help so she wasn’t an option, all I could to was wed. Thankfully I saved Miss Ellen here, she lived on an island all alone, on one of my ventures out to sea I found her and took her home with me,” Mr. Crawley told this elaborate lie.
“Amazing! I assume that’s why her mouth is stitched closed?” Mr. Webb asked.
“Indeed it is, Sir. Indeed it is.” Mr. Crawley shook his head as if to say: ‘I wish I had gotten there sooner.’.
“Have you heard about this Jack The Ripper fellow?” Mr. Webb looked at me, but he was asking Mr. Crawley.
“Yes, it’s quite frightening news. I hope he doesn’t find my beautiful lady and take her,” Mr. Crawley tightened his grip around my waist, which proved to be very uncomfortable.
“Oh that would be dreadful,” Mr. Webb shook his head, sighing.
“But as long as I’m protecting her then I won’t let him lay a finger on you,” He smiled a sickly smile at me.
God I hoped he wasn’t looking for a kiss.
“I’m sorry that Catherine couldn’t be here, she came down with a cold,” Mr. Webb shook his head.
“Oh, that’s alright, I’m sure Ellen can meet her later. Such a shame though,” Mr. Crawley sighed.
Cora had told me to dance with Mr. Crawley, and at this point I wanted to test this. Since we were in public he had to. With a grin I took his hand and pulled him out to the group that was dancing.
“Wait, what?” He protested as I did this.
His eyes settled on my smirk, this game was going to be fun.
“I told you not to do this,” He said as we danced.
I gave a little shrug, something he didn’t care for.
“One dance. That’s all.” He made himself clear.
That was going to be enough for me. By the looks of how we had been dancing so far, he wasn’t very good. His cheeks became flushed, looking around for a face he knew, someone to use as an excuse.
“Dear, you haven’t met Mr. Ashton yet,” He started to pull me off the dance floor when I halted.
No matter how embarrassing, I knew what had to be done. Quickly I gave him a look of pain and sadness, a look that had tears welled up in the eyes and a feeling of frustration etched into the skin.
“Dance with your wife, Mr. Crawley,” An old man told him.
“Fine..” Mr. Crawley huffed, walking back onto the dance floor.
I shot him a smirk, and then resumed a happy smile. He knew my game now.
“Don’t you dare ruin my reputation,” He whispered.
But from what I heard his reputation had been shot already, how could a dance ruin it? Yet all I could do was mumble “Mhn,”. The violins ceased and the conductor bowed-- The dance was over.
“Alright, Mr. Ashton,” Mr. Crawley took my hand and pulled me away.
“Charles! So glad to see you, I’m glad you could make it! Is this your new bride?” The same old man asked.
“Yes, yes indeed Oliver.” Mr. Crawley nodded.
“She’s simply lovely,” He smiled at me.
Quickly I curtsied, making sure to leave a good impression.
“Dean told me all about you, Mrs. Crawley. How have Tia and Echo been since Violetta died?” He added.
“Tia still doesn’t know what’s going on and Ember is in denial...” Mr. Crawley sighed.
“How do they like Ellen?” Mr. Ashton nodded at me.
“Tia loves her but Echo refuses to even think about her,” Mr. Crawley pinched the bridge of his nose, stressed by his son’s attitude.
“Ah, well, I’m sorry,” Mr. Ashton shook his head, disapproving of Echo’s feelings.
“I guess all I can do is just make him get used to it,” Mr. Crawley shrugged.
Truth be told the whole party had been a drag, people believed Mr. Crawley’s lie of saving me from an island. By the time we had gotten home I had fallen asleep, in the morning I had woke up in my bed.
“Jack The Ripper killed two more prostitutes,” Mr. Crawley grunted as we all sat in the dining room.
“They should just kill that creep.” Echo crossed his arms, ignoring my presence.
“They would if they caught him. Now shut up.” Mr. Crawley snapped his newspaper, continuing reading.
“Or he could just take the witch..” Echo mumbled.
“Ember, I’m trying to read.” Mr. Crawley looked at his son.
“Whatever.” Echo stood up and left.
Mr. Crawley didn’t do anything about his son leaving, he just let it happen.
Little did I know that for weeks it would be like this-- little did I know that it would get worse. Mr. Crawley proved to be a man who would do anything to push himself up, even if it involves throwing me around the house. Not metaphorically throwing me around, actual throwing me around. Which occurred, his attitude toward Tia and Echo also got worse. He stopped caring about them, he just focused on himself. Now, today, October 26th didn’t feel much different.
“Where would you like to go today, Miss?” Cora asked.
We had just arrived in London for what could be a fun day.
“I would love to go look at dresses!!” Tia chimed in.
“Then we’ll look at dresses,” Cora smiled.
Tia skipped ahead, Cora walked behind her and reluctantly I followed them. Suddenly someone grabbed me. Yet my luck I wouldn’t do anything but struggle.
“Just shut up,” Someone whispered.
Like that was comforting, I continued to struggle.
“Just wait!” He slapped his hand against my mouth, a serious look in his eyes. All of his features were covered in a shadow, but his eyes were light.
“God.. Okay, just wait.” He took my arm and ran through the alleys of London.
If anything I stumbled along with him, who he was I still did not know. Finally after the shock wore off I halted, looking at him with such a freaked out look.
“Fine,” He sighed. “I’m Jack the Ripper.” He explained
Normally I would’ve ran away, but something kept me there. Some form of understanding. In an instant I looked caring, not frightened.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” He looked at me seriously.
“Thank you,” Would’ve been appropriate.
“I’ve seen what that... That idiot has been doing to you, I couldn’t do anything for the little girl or the boy but I knew I could get you. Now come on.” He grabbed my wrist and pulled it.
I stayed anchored to my spot. Jack rolled his eyes, he then covered my nose and mouth with a cloth. It smelled... Sweet? It was intoxicating though and in an instant it knocked me out.
All of this cold air rushed into my lungs, my breathing was jagged as my eyes flashed open. I found myself in a room that was dimly lit. Jack walked into the room I was silent, he looked the place over, eyes sharper than needles. His features were rough, sharp and uncaring. It made his entire mood and physique to a pre-set mean. For a moment he lingered at me, I could barely breath. Finally he moved on, deciding that it wasn't that important.
“You finally decided to wake up?” He asked.
When I didn’t answer he sighed.
“What happened to your face?” He pulled out a pocket knife and grabbed my face.
Oh no.... I braced myself for the extreme amount of pain that was going to be pushed upon me. By now the wounds had healed around the thread, so at least it didn’t hurt as much. He snipped the thread, and it proved that pulling the thread out was killer.
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